Four minutes, thirty-three seconds

I had an  unhappy act the other day 

 I went to go see a white man about my mental health 

I get it im here im not really here 

What does it matter 

spells 

 burning  

              away _  emotion 

Detourn the  innocence _ singularity 

The only thing i can control are my emotions if i try hard enough 

 abandon_ tenderness 

Shifting flames speaking in  the air 

 My stupid memory _irreducible 

I mourn myself 

   Let the silence undo you release 

  Reduce the living body and then i’m back to myself 

unclenching my jaw 

 Analyze the patterns of completing object 

    bodies without bodies the final object_esc 

_it is necessary to uproot oneself

 to cut down the tree and make of it a cross_ then to carry it every day_

remember this 

What mind denies its history? 

Become fragments 

I am floating on present breath

Take me back to where i belong 

A wound. Womb. Void.

Keep forgetting i am the void

 

If you think you took 

something from me

 i am flattered and u can have it 

I will be waiting

 

blackened faith 

 

The skin stays and the organs move 

Extraordinary teeth looking for fuckable orifices 

A wall inside of myself it speaks  new languages of my twisted hearts 

Transparency  

_ I am afraid_things r getting fuzzy now_low- res simulation _  our minds  flood with light _ silence _  I wanted to kill but had nothing to kill but myself_ To accept a void in ourselves is supernatural_ had i become a mystic in the memory _ to kill what hides_ in violent distance of self i am capable of imagining what i fear and laying it to rest_the suppression of knoweldge_ the suppression of self_ look i know WHAT I WANT AND I SWEAR TO YOU I’M GOING TO GET IT_ i am attached to the world and i will not be embarrassed by the situation of self _ insert affirming blackness, browness, queerness_ ah yes  the tedium..  What is more frightful than to die in a nightmare?

           lay down there

  Fill it with red, orange, green. 

     I put the earth in my mouth. 

     Sustainable thoughts only

  I plant myself in myself _ the hungriest woman in the world is obviously me .. duh

Hacked from  light i am taking you with me_  galvanized spirits_ we have a lot to do.  

 I can take everything ur coming at me with

Everything wants to kill u and u should be afraid

Decontextualize

/ what is the function of fear / pre-sky / emit light - yes like that 

Radical modernity requires something of me 

Whiteness  requires something from me 

The world requires something of me 

I am looking for a place to lie down 

I tilt the sky until all i can see r the clouds black n  thick _ no ownership _ no requirements

---

Precious Okoyomon is a Brooklyn based poet and artist. She is the author of Ajebota (Bottlecap Press, 2016). Her writing has been performed and exhibited at the Baltic Triennial in Lithuania, the Contemporary Art Center in Cincinnati, Exo Exo in Paris and MoMA PS1 in New York. Her writing has been published in Hobart, Fanzine, New York Tyrant and elsewhere.  She loves her sweet toy poodle rainbow and is a Leo that is very low key evil. She’s currently working on a book or two.