Soft

Wanting to cry and being unable

The slow sludge of extraordinary proportions

I always write “steel beneath the moss”

But it’s the dirt that crumbles

Over & over

Test

Boston. I made a mess

crawled inside a hole

in your head a fire burns

flames licking skin

aglow, like the sweat of a pimple

on an adolescent teenage boy.

We were once what we were

and now we’re this

 

green shrubbery, a softball.

#2 Crush

 

Stood on your tiptoes

skirt billowing, billowing

pale legs

 

I’m picturing

my face against your chest

every time I see you

online

 

“We are the same”

I think in wonder,

actually knowing nothing

 

certainly not knowing

how far this cross

will carry

 

or why I am the one

who’s gotta hold it up.

Supergirl at 6 am

 

So screw California

and friends that are never there

 

it beckons me

and then it recedes

in my dream the staircase stopped

abruptly

 

I was scared and beneath me

-       No one to break the fall

 

I climbed up backwards;

I looked for the girl

who knew me

 

--

 

watching Supergirl at 6 am

praying softly as the sun comes up

on my knees or on my belly

staring at the iPad

I made fun of and fell in love with you

for having

 

now it lulls me to sleep

in the wee hours

of morning

 

--

 

all the friends left.

all the lovers found other lovers.

all I have is this,

and you.